Excuse me, did you lose something?
I was one of the shy types in high school. There were the few friends I felt I could be myself around, the rest of the world I was this silent, brooding teenager. Come to think of it, not much has really changed. I’m still the quiet, shy guy.
As many of you know, I come from a fairly large family. Five boys and one girl. My sister is the oldest of us all. I’m boy #3. The 2 older brothers were fairly close in age and hung around each other. The 2 younger brothers were the same. I was stuck in the middle with very little interaction with either 2 groups. And it didn’t help that my parents grouped us together by calling the older 2 the ‘big boys’ and the 3 younger the ‘little boys’. It was artificial segregation.
When my father left, it put a huge financial strain on the family. He left for another woman, and basically adopted her kids and forgot us. To punish my mother, child support was ignored. There were many times I would have to pay the light company to keep the lights turned on. To be honest, I have no clue how my mom got through that time. It was major stress on her.
Just before I turned 16, my brother got me a job at Bonanza Steak House. I haven’t seen a Bonanza Steak House in years. I’m not even sure they exist any more. But I started at the bottom of the ladder as a busboy.
I was grateful for the work. Cleaning tables, cleaning bathrooms, washing dishes. All the labor intensive cleaning work. It was long hours and hard work. And I loved every minute. There’s something about working hard that is very satisfying. Too bad those types of jobs don’t normally pay very well. But then I never lacked for money.
There were times I would wait over a month to cash my paycheck. I wouldn’t say I horded my money, I just didn’t have anything to spend it on. I didn’t smoke. I didn’t drink. I didn’t use drugs. I didn’t have a girlfriend who wanted to go out every night. So it all went in the bank.
It was my first time to actually associate with other people outside of school or my neighborhood. The majority of people from my school I’ve known since first grade. It’s difficult to find someone attractive that you’ve known for that long. Now I was working with girls from different cities, schools, ages, etc. And it was exciting getting to know them. And then there was my assistant manager, Carla.
Carla was older that I was, obviously. I was 16 and she was 30. She was married, with 2 kids. After a couple months, it was obvious she was flirting with me. Being a horny kid, I didn’t mind one bit. Rumors abounded that their marriage was very open. Both saw other people. He targeted women who went to this bar he tended, and she went for the boys at work.
For Christmas I wanted to find something for my mom. I didn’t have a car yet, and Carla offered to take me shopping. I got off late on Saturday night, and she picked me up from work. Her mom sold odds and ends from this consignment store, and Carla was sure we could find something there. We pulled up and she opened the shop door. I started browsing the store for something for mom, when she disappeared. To be honest, I didn’t realize she wasn’t there any more. She never turned on the lights, so I didn’t know where she was.
On one of the shelves, I found this blue ceramic duck in a nest. It was my mom’s style. Very country-fide. I was about to shout to Carla to ask her the price, when I felt this hand on my shoulder.
I turned around and there Carla was, completely undressed. My mouth dropped and I choked back a few words. All I could do is stare at her breasts. I was petrified. This was my first time seeing a girl naked in front of me.
She reached down and grabbed both my hands and brought them up to cup her breasts. They were soft and heavier than I imagined. I couldn’t do anything but stand there massaging her breasts. I still couldn’t say a word. Then she knelt down to unzip me. To say I didn’t last long, is an understatement. Young boys have no control.
It wasn’t long before I was ready again and she brought me to the counter by the front window. The store was on a country road with very little traffic, but she wanted to do it in front of the window. I guess the thrill of maybe getting caught.
I often think back on that night with deep regret. She wasn’t the person I wanted my first time to be with, and I really wasn’t ready. I felt cheated, I felt used, I felt betrayed. It wasn’t with someone I cared for. I’m not saying she was ugly, but she wasn’t someone I would date. She wasn’t someone I had a connection with. From that day forward, it became very important for me to have some sort of affection for someone before I even consider sleeping with them.
I’m so much not a typical guy when it comes to sex. I need an emotional attachment to someone to even start to enjoy the act of sex. I get nothing out of just a casual screw. It feels so mechanical, so detached.
Even though I lost my virginity at 16, I would give anything to have it back and give it to the woman I am about to marry.
-Mizike-
As many of you know, I come from a fairly large family. Five boys and one girl. My sister is the oldest of us all. I’m boy #3. The 2 older brothers were fairly close in age and hung around each other. The 2 younger brothers were the same. I was stuck in the middle with very little interaction with either 2 groups. And it didn’t help that my parents grouped us together by calling the older 2 the ‘big boys’ and the 3 younger the ‘little boys’. It was artificial segregation.
When my father left, it put a huge financial strain on the family. He left for another woman, and basically adopted her kids and forgot us. To punish my mother, child support was ignored. There were many times I would have to pay the light company to keep the lights turned on. To be honest, I have no clue how my mom got through that time. It was major stress on her.
Just before I turned 16, my brother got me a job at Bonanza Steak House. I haven’t seen a Bonanza Steak House in years. I’m not even sure they exist any more. But I started at the bottom of the ladder as a busboy.
I was grateful for the work. Cleaning tables, cleaning bathrooms, washing dishes. All the labor intensive cleaning work. It was long hours and hard work. And I loved every minute. There’s something about working hard that is very satisfying. Too bad those types of jobs don’t normally pay very well. But then I never lacked for money.
There were times I would wait over a month to cash my paycheck. I wouldn’t say I horded my money, I just didn’t have anything to spend it on. I didn’t smoke. I didn’t drink. I didn’t use drugs. I didn’t have a girlfriend who wanted to go out every night. So it all went in the bank.
It was my first time to actually associate with other people outside of school or my neighborhood. The majority of people from my school I’ve known since first grade. It’s difficult to find someone attractive that you’ve known for that long. Now I was working with girls from different cities, schools, ages, etc. And it was exciting getting to know them. And then there was my assistant manager, Carla.
Carla was older that I was, obviously. I was 16 and she was 30. She was married, with 2 kids. After a couple months, it was obvious she was flirting with me. Being a horny kid, I didn’t mind one bit. Rumors abounded that their marriage was very open. Both saw other people. He targeted women who went to this bar he tended, and she went for the boys at work.
For Christmas I wanted to find something for my mom. I didn’t have a car yet, and Carla offered to take me shopping. I got off late on Saturday night, and she picked me up from work. Her mom sold odds and ends from this consignment store, and Carla was sure we could find something there. We pulled up and she opened the shop door. I started browsing the store for something for mom, when she disappeared. To be honest, I didn’t realize she wasn’t there any more. She never turned on the lights, so I didn’t know where she was.
On one of the shelves, I found this blue ceramic duck in a nest. It was my mom’s style. Very country-fide. I was about to shout to Carla to ask her the price, when I felt this hand on my shoulder.
I turned around and there Carla was, completely undressed. My mouth dropped and I choked back a few words. All I could do is stare at her breasts. I was petrified. This was my first time seeing a girl naked in front of me.
She reached down and grabbed both my hands and brought them up to cup her breasts. They were soft and heavier than I imagined. I couldn’t do anything but stand there massaging her breasts. I still couldn’t say a word. Then she knelt down to unzip me. To say I didn’t last long, is an understatement. Young boys have no control.
It wasn’t long before I was ready again and she brought me to the counter by the front window. The store was on a country road with very little traffic, but she wanted to do it in front of the window. I guess the thrill of maybe getting caught.
I often think back on that night with deep regret. She wasn’t the person I wanted my first time to be with, and I really wasn’t ready. I felt cheated, I felt used, I felt betrayed. It wasn’t with someone I cared for. I’m not saying she was ugly, but she wasn’t someone I would date. She wasn’t someone I had a connection with. From that day forward, it became very important for me to have some sort of affection for someone before I even consider sleeping with them.
I’m so much not a typical guy when it comes to sex. I need an emotional attachment to someone to even start to enjoy the act of sex. I get nothing out of just a casual screw. It feels so mechanical, so detached.
Even though I lost my virginity at 16, I would give anything to have it back and give it to the woman I am about to marry.
-Mizike-
posted by Mizike at 10:29 AM
2 Comments:
"Even though I lost my virginity at 16, I would give anything to have it back and give it to the woman I am about to marry."
thats really sweet!
*blush*
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