Spit, not swallow
I use to be a medical show junkie. As a child, afternoons were filled with old episodes of Dr. Kildare (along with Lassie, Perry Mason, Flipper, Superman, Sid & Marty Krofft shows, and Bozo). Evenings had Emergency and Quincy, MD.
My heart raced as the frantic doctors and nurses exchanged words of “stat” and “IV push” and “he’s crashing doctor!” I’m not saying I’m into blood and gore. Far from it. I use to enjoy channel 21 and 23 on my Savannah cable system. The Discovery Channel and the History Channel. Right in-between them, was channel 22… the Discovery Health Channel.
Before TiVo, I was a normal channel clicker. I’d spend hours and hours surfing from one channel to another, looking for something to see. Lots of times, I’d switch between channel 21 and 23 all night. And I’d have to flip over channel 22. Invariably, they’d have a show with some guy’s chest open and they are playing with his heart or kidneys. Or showing childbirth with this ugly, bloody bulbous thing coming out of WHAT???!! Who ever says childbirth is a beautiful thing, needs to have their head examined. It’s gross. I just have one word for all of you who videotape the births of your children. Freaks!
Good god, do you really want to have a record of that? And you want to show it to guests along side your visit to the Grand Canyon? Freaks, I say!
So I love doctor shows, but they have to be completely gore free. Just show me the drama of the fight between life and death. And throw in a little hot doctor/nurse action, and I’m a very happy man.
What’s surprising is that I hate going to the doctor. I would rather sit in pain, with a huge goiter growing on the tip of my nose, than go to the doctor. As much as I hate going to the doctor, I’m a wonderful patient. The key to being a wonderful patient is to be patient. I have an incredible tolerance for people who waste my time. Standing in lines? Not a problem. Getting my license at the DMV, piece of cake. Waiting for my 5 minute face-to-face with the doctor, 3 hour wait… no sweat. I am at peace with the world. Sit back, close my eyes, have my inner voice repeat calming mantras… Zen baby!
My dentist in Savannah loved me. I’d never fidget in the chair. Scrape a little hard, catch the gum…. I suck it up and never move. No ouchies from me! Although the dental assistant did get cross with me when I swallowed the mouth wash instead of spitting it back out. I never use mouthwash, how was I supposed to know you spit it back into the cup? Not like there was a sink close by. If there was a sink, sure. Nothing like it for a spittoon. But keep me on my back with this tiny cup as a receptacle… not going to happen. Especially when you’ve deadened my gums and my lips are drooping more than Fat Albert’s lower lip.
One day I’ll get over my Doctor Phobia. I’ll admit when I’m ill and won’t wait until rigor is setting before I will go. I pay an obscene amount for health insurance. Why not use it?
Mizike
My heart raced as the frantic doctors and nurses exchanged words of “stat” and “IV push” and “he’s crashing doctor!” I’m not saying I’m into blood and gore. Far from it. I use to enjoy channel 21 and 23 on my Savannah cable system. The Discovery Channel and the History Channel. Right in-between them, was channel 22… the Discovery Health Channel.
Before TiVo, I was a normal channel clicker. I’d spend hours and hours surfing from one channel to another, looking for something to see. Lots of times, I’d switch between channel 21 and 23 all night. And I’d have to flip over channel 22. Invariably, they’d have a show with some guy’s chest open and they are playing with his heart or kidneys. Or showing childbirth with this ugly, bloody bulbous thing coming out of WHAT???!! Who ever says childbirth is a beautiful thing, needs to have their head examined. It’s gross. I just have one word for all of you who videotape the births of your children. Freaks!
Good god, do you really want to have a record of that? And you want to show it to guests along side your visit to the Grand Canyon? Freaks, I say!
So I love doctor shows, but they have to be completely gore free. Just show me the drama of the fight between life and death. And throw in a little hot doctor/nurse action, and I’m a very happy man.
What’s surprising is that I hate going to the doctor. I would rather sit in pain, with a huge goiter growing on the tip of my nose, than go to the doctor. As much as I hate going to the doctor, I’m a wonderful patient. The key to being a wonderful patient is to be patient. I have an incredible tolerance for people who waste my time. Standing in lines? Not a problem. Getting my license at the DMV, piece of cake. Waiting for my 5 minute face-to-face with the doctor, 3 hour wait… no sweat. I am at peace with the world. Sit back, close my eyes, have my inner voice repeat calming mantras… Zen baby!
My dentist in Savannah loved me. I’d never fidget in the chair. Scrape a little hard, catch the gum…. I suck it up and never move. No ouchies from me! Although the dental assistant did get cross with me when I swallowed the mouth wash instead of spitting it back out. I never use mouthwash, how was I supposed to know you spit it back into the cup? Not like there was a sink close by. If there was a sink, sure. Nothing like it for a spittoon. But keep me on my back with this tiny cup as a receptacle… not going to happen. Especially when you’ve deadened my gums and my lips are drooping more than Fat Albert’s lower lip.
One day I’ll get over my Doctor Phobia. I’ll admit when I’m ill and won’t wait until rigor is setting before I will go. I pay an obscene amount for health insurance. Why not use it?
Mizike
posted by Mizike at 8:53 AM
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