Hire me, please!

Just ran across an article discussing the weirdest job seeker stunts. What people have actually done in order to gain a job.

I was wondering what have any of you guys done or heard done to land a job? We've all heard the urban legend of being offered a blow job for a job, but I've never known anyone where that has actually happened. Whether they are the receiver or the giver.

For me the weirdest was as a teenager I was interviewing for a job at KMart. One of the duties was to clean the restrooms. I was desperate to land the job, and when they asked if I had any problems cleaning bathrooms I broke out into the 'my mom makes me clean them at home. and my brothers have really bad aim. so it can get messy after a while. so i'm use to messy people.' I didn't get the job.

Here are some of the stunts. If you ask me, they aren't that extreme. I would have liked a better list. Although one of them sounds like Sean Young's audition for the role of Catwoman.

What stunts have you heard of? I'm curious.

* Asked the interviewer out to dinner
* Brought coffee for the entire office
* Asked for another interview after being told that the job was filled
* Called incessantly for weeks before and after the position was filled
* Wore a tuxedo.
* Used a celebrity official fan site as one of their portfolio accomplishments.
* Brought a baby gift to the interviewer who was pregnant.
* Sat next to the hiring manager in a church pew.
* Left Yankee tickets for the interviewer.
* Sent a nude photo of himself to the hiring manager.
* Tried to do a stand-up comedy routine.
* Waited for the hiring manager at his car.
* Came dressed as a cat.
* Said they "smiled on command."

-Mizike-

Make it so, Number One

Things are not so great at the Big Pill this week. I've made a tactical mistake on how to deal with the client, and I'm not sure how to correct it.

When I was brought aboard, I had the typical 'meet and greet' talk with my client. He welcomed me aboard and hoped my stay would be productive. In the end, he expressed that his position kept him very busy (which is does) and that if I have any questions I should pass them through my team lead or through Number One, his second in command. Which I've been doing

Number One is one of those eternally optimistic people who can't say anything critical if his life depended on it. He also has a full plate, and may never actually get around to reviewing something he promised he'd have feedback by the next day. I have been passing my work through him and receiving 'looks good' and 'I think that's exactly what we need'. What I didn't know is that the client has been very unhappy with the direction of the work and has now begun to wonder why he's paying this insane amount of money for the product I'm producing.

And I can't blame him. It clearly isn't what he expected. And since I did not engage him directly, I had no clue. For some reason, my account manager has been receiving feedback all along and never passed the information of disquiet along to me. Which makes the situation even worse. The client is unhappy with the work, took it to the consulting account manager, and nothing was done to correct it since I had no clue there were issues.

Now I have to regain the client's trust, which at this point I have doubts it can be accomplished. I need to engage him, yet not waste his time and not cut out Number One.

On a side note, last week one of the many newsites I visit ran an article about a New York City Hack's blog. I really haven't had much time to read it, but it seems interesting. Recently, she posted about being interviewed by a local news team. I love the coat and shoes of the interviewer. If anyone knows where I can find the coat, please let me know. I'd love to get it for Skyprincess.

Turn Left on 'Cult of Personality' Lane

I have a new goal in life. To earn lots and lots of money and use it to have places renamed in honor of me!

Perhaps it’s a very selfish goal. I can be pretty selfish at times.

I can imagine it now. I’ll donate $100,000 to the New York school district and have Martin Luther King, Jr. High School changed to Mizike, Born in a Bowl of Water High School. Well.. they would probably expect more money being New York. Okay, let’s pick a cheaper school.

How about Silver Springs, MD? Population of 76,000 people. Nice size, but within my budget. $100,000 would go much further. I’ll change John F Kennedy High to Mizike, Born in a Bowl of Water High School.

How about a Hospital? I was thinking of one in Vinton, IA. The person who bought its name got off cheap. Only $50,000!!!! Well… that was in 1917 dollars. Maybe $1 million? The Virginia Gay Hospital. Now that I think about it, I love the name of that hospital! I just wished it was in the state of Virginia, then it would take a whole 'nuther meaning. Maybe I'll just request a wing of the hospital to be named after me. The 'Bowl of Water' wing, dedicated to the well being of the incontinant.

Maybe I could return back to my home town and buy a street. The major streets were East Main and NorthWest Avenue. How bland are those? Maybe if I gave $75,000 I could rename NorthWest Avenue into Mizike Avenue and East Main into 'Born in a Bowl of Water BLVD'. BBW BLVD for short.

Or I could find a nice South Park style town and rename a park or 2. Born in a Bowl of Natural Colorado Mountain Spring Water park?

My old Uni renamed their business school when an alumni gave the school a couple million. I won't criticize the guy, I didn't know him. I just found it funny how the school tongued his ass and gave him a blowjob just for giving them money. Are Americans really that cheap?

And then dedicating schools for people who have questionably benefited society. It only shows how short sighted we are, and how caught up in the cult of personality Americans can get.

Lots of traveling

I'm back to Memphis this weekend. My returns back to my home are getting less frequent. So I'll need to make the most of it.

Life with Skyprincess is not what I'm use to. I'm not complaining, it's great! I'm just a homebody who is trying to get use to not being home. Consulting life has a lot to do with it also.

This is how my next few weeks look.

1/27 - 1/29 Memphis
1/30 - 2/2 Boston
2/3 - 2/5 New Orleans
2/6 - 2/9 Boston
2/10 - 2/12 L.A.
2/13 - 2/17 Boston
2/18 - 2/19 New York
2/20 - 2/23 Boston
2/24 - 2/26 Dallas
2/27 - 3/2 Boston
3/3 - 3/5 Memphis

So not much time at home. I've been wondering if I should just rent the house out. I'm never there. I hate thinking I'm paying utilities for a place I'm never in.

I ordered a number or small things on half.com that I'm looking forward to. Hippolyte is kind enough to be checking the house and has brought them inside.

This is one of my all time favorite movies. I was sad to see it is no longer published. I was talking about this movie to ChinaDoll when she recommended this one also. So I picked it up to!

And I bought a book that I've been wanting to read for a while.

I'm working hard to catch up on my 2 online courses. I'll be glad to have that last bit of uni finished. I really can't see going for another degree in the future. Sure, I'm willing to take classes.... but not for any degree program.

I was backed into a wall and had to fly AirTran again this past weekend. I knew better, but I couldn't justify the difference in the ticket costs. The AirTran ticket was less than $500. The American Airline ticket was $2500. So I took AirTran.

The one thing I like about AirTran is that they have XM radio in the cabin. I know of no other domestic airline that has that service in coach. I have found out how they can afford this service. They don't replace the reading light lamps.

Yes! Both outbound and inbound segments were with planes with a reading light burned out. And it was limited to just my seats. There were several people who kept poking the button all through the trip. It doesn't matter that they tried to turn the lamp on 16 times before. They'd wait 5 minutes and poke the button again. Since I fly evening flights, it really is a bother since I can't read. Luckily I have XM radio to listen to. Or I pull out my laptop and watch a DVD until my battery dies.

I felt bad for the return leg of my trip. The flight attendants announced that the flight will offer XM radio to the passengers, then never passed out any earplugs. I had a couple sets in my bag, so no problem. I found it funny that when we were taxiing to the terminal, they flight attendant came back on and gave their 'thank you for flying with us' speech, saying they hope we enjoyed the XM radio service provided by AirTran. Haha!

My project with the Big Pill concluded Friday. I have not been assigned any further projects and feel utterly useless. I know my company must be charging them $160-180/hr for my services. If I was the IT manager here, I'd send me back home. But he's afraid we'd be grabbed by another client and won't be available. So he's willing to have us sit here for weeks until they have a project for us. What a waste.

I had hoped I'd get the Big Shoe job, but I blew the interview. I wasn't happy. Although I would have hated the flight time to the west coast, I would have welcomed a changed in assignments. At least I dodged the Netherland's assignment. Skyprincess and I discussed it. I would really love to move and work overseas. If I never come back to the states, all the better. Not like I'm crazy with how things are going here. She has 2 more years left on her union gig before going back to international flights. When that happens, we can live overseas. In 2 years, my skillset should be sufficient to gain an overseas assignment with ease.

One of her best friends married a foreign national and they live in Morocco. She works 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off. She schedules her 2 weeks back to back, so she's on a month and off a month. Works well. Not that Morocco will be where we end up. I've never been. It's one of the places on our travel list, though. But I can see any place in Europe. I'm not sure the Far East would work, but who knows?

Oh! got a recipe for you to try. It's very delicious. We cooked it last week for the consulting team. They enjoyed it very much. Hope you like!

Eggplant Rollatini

18 oz container Ricotta
olive oil
2 large eggplants peeled
6 eggs
salt and pepper
2-3 cloved garlic finely chopped
3/4 cup Romano or Parmesean
1/4 cup fresh basil
1/8 cup fresh parsley
1 jar pasta sauce
1 lb shredded mozarella
1 to 1 1/2 lbs thin sliced chicken breast

Spoon Ricotta into fine strainer and set in
refrigerator for several hours.

Discard liquid.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Spread thin coating of olive oil on cookie sheets

Put flat end of eggplant down onto cutting board.
Slice eggplants lenghtwise in 1/4" thick slices.

Beat 4 eggs. Add salt and pepper to season eggs. Coat
each eggplant w/flour then dip into eggs, drain excess
then coat with bread crumbs and lay flat on baking
sheet. Bake until golden brown approx 15-20 minutes.
You may have to bake in batches.

Remove from oven and cool to room temp.

At the same time as these are baking, heat olive oil
to coat bottom of fying pan on the stove. Salt and
Pepper chicken breasts and fry until almost all the
way cooked. Drain and set aside.

Combine ricotta, remaining egg, garlic, basil,
parsley, 3/4 of the mozarella and 1/2 c of the
parmesean. Mix well add salt and pepper to taste.

Spoon 1/2 cup of pasta sauce into bottom of baking
dish. Lay out eggplant and top with a chicken breast.
Spoon cheese mixture on top and roll the eggplant up
starting at the wide end. Place in baking dish. Repeat
until all are finished. Top with remaining pasta sauce
and cheeses. Cover with aluminum foil and bake for 45
minutes or until sauce is bubbling and cheese is
melted. Remove from oven and let rest for 15 minuted.
Serve with hot, crusty french or italian bread.

Game night!

We are planning on having a potluck dinner either tonight or tomorrow night, depending on interview schedules. Afterwards, China Doll will be hosting a gaming event with multiple board games. It's an elimination event, with the winner claiming the money pot. Could be $50 =)

Here are the rules:

'Those interested in board games and defeating fellow colleagues in displays of mental superiority, can convene in Room XXX following the potluck. In order that nobody feels like the weakest link, there will not be any eliminations. Don't worry, I still brought The Joy Luck Club for when you get bored with waiting for the "slow" team to figure out the capital of Iceland. Entry fee is $5. You don't have to contribute, but only those who do are eligible to win the pot. For those of you who want to practice your skillz, the agenda is below:

2 Teams: Determined by Chinese Zodiac compatibility
Catchphrase
Trivial Pursuit

3 Teams: Rearranged randomly
Pictionary
Charades

4 Teams: Four highest scoring players will pick their teams dodgeball style
Cranium

Individual: Top three People automatically move on to semi-finals (participation optional), remaining players vie for 3 wildcard spots
Texas Hold 'em

Semi-Finals: Six people compete to determine amongst themselves the finalists
Apples to Apples

Finals: Two people in head-to-head competition
Mystery Tests of Speed, Skill, and Wits!!!'


We have already had controversy with the Ukranians. Here is what Joe has said....

"I heard a rumor that D. and I. were both on the 1988 East German Olympic Women's swim team.

There are whispers that they took too many steroids and could not revert back to their birth gender."

Haha! I got lucky and found I.'s photo from his swim training sessions.

Mr. Mackey says, "Alcohol is bad"

I hate being sick! Damn Ukrainians making me sick. They should keep their germs to themselves.

I finished up my project for The Big Pill last week and then headed to Chicago for my first corporate meeting. My company was hosting it's grand opening of their new headquarters, and wanted all hands on deck. It was a nice place, the CEO called the "Play House". I think he wanted to inject the same enthusiasm the Dot Coms had during their heyday, it just didn't work for me. Being sick dulled my excitement for the new digs. And as typical of me, 1/2 a glass of champagne and I was feeling fairly sick.

I've decided to swear off all alcohol after this weekend. As much as I would love to be able to enjoy a bit of the juice with Skyprincess, it makes me very very ill for quite some time. This she has complete confidence in, I will never be an alcoholic.

I have no clue why I can't hold alcohol. It just makes me very very sick. I can't even drink enough to get a fairly decent buzz before I'm folded over with a severe stomach cramp. If you ask me, it's a bit unfair.

After our afternoon session Thursday, everyone went to the party to drink and have very good food. I had my 1/2 glass and skipped out as soon as I could. Between the flu and the drink, I was needing to sleep for hours.

The next morning I got up and went to have breakfast. I felt miserable and decided to skip the morning session. My checkout time was noon, so I woke up at 11:30 and checked out. Then I waited around the lobby to try to find someone from my company. I flagged down the first person I saw with a name badge, it happened to be the VP in charge of the event. I told him I had skipped the morning event due to illness. What I didn't realize until later, is that he might have thought I was trying to sleep off a hangover. How ironic would that be? Not a way to set a good impression.

They have me up for another position in The Big Shoe. I'll be spending the next day or two prepping for the interview. I have a feeling my company wants me to lie about my experience so they can charge $190/hr for my services. I don't like lying about my skills, but it seems like something most consulting companies try to do. Put a warm body in the position in order to bill. It would be an awesome job, if I get it. I would learn a lot.

I talked to my boss about my next assignment. He wanted me to go to The Netherlands for a position. It would require 80% travel. If I wasn't engaged and single, it would be awesome. But it's not something I want any longer.

Mizike

We're in the air and everywhere

I grew up with a bedtime I hated. I always thought it was so unfair. 8pm was so early! When you don’t get home from school until close to 4:30, due to riding a bus, and then spend the next hour or so doing homework. 8pm comes very quickly.

I was fortunate to grow up in the Central time zone. Prime time TV started at 7pm, so I got to watch the ‘family oriented’ television programs. The more harder TV shows didn’t run until 9pm, during the last hour of prime time.

This meant watching fluff like “BJ and the Bear”, “Dukes of Hazard”, or any of those fluffy variety shows that made the 7pm time slot.

The extent of my TV watching came from afternoon reruns or PBS. I LOVED!!! Electric Company! “Sha”… “ooo”.. “shoe!”

The cast was so hip!

Morgan Freeman was “Easy Reader”

Irene Cara (I was so in love with her during the early 80s) was one of my favorite members of the “Short Circus”

Bill Cosby in all his roles

Rita Moreno, Mr. Letterman (Gene Wilder), Mel Brooks, and Joan Rivers

When Electric Company wasn’t on, I watch all the old black and white reruns you don’t usually see on TV Land any more.

Dragnet, Leave It to Beaver, Bewitched, Adams Family, Monsters, Perry Mason, Dr. Kildar, Superman, Three Stooges, and Gilligan’s Island.

And who can forget The Partridge Family? The Sid and Marty Krofft shows? Sigmund and the Sea Monster? The Bugaloos? H.R. Puffinstuf? Land of the Lost? The Far-out Space Nuts? Or The Brady Bunch?

When I got into the 5th grade, my parents let me stay up to 9pm! Now I got to watch better shows. At least I thought. I had to watch what my parents were watching. Shows like Fish? Who would think a show named Fish would be successful?

Then there was McCloud. Some cowboy fighting crime Texas style in a big city. And they watch Beretta. I hated that show, although I loved the bird. I was more a Starsky and Hutch person, than Beretta. And don’t ask me about Kojak. The bald head was just too weird. I kept expecting him to break into a Rodgers and Hammerstein song.

Even though I hated the TV shows, I loved being up an extra hour. On Saturdays, I hated the fact I couldn’t be up before 7am. If it was before 7am, my parents expected us to remain in bed. No getting up making noise waking them up.

This wasn’t much of a problem during school week. It was very difficult to get us all up in the morning to catch the bus. But the weekend, we wanted to savor all the time we could. So we tried to get up very early and go to bed very late.

Normally, I didn’t get up until 7am on Saturday. The good cartoons didn’t start until 8am. Every season, I’d grab the TV guide and make a schedule of what shows I would watch. What time they came on, and what channel I had to turn it to. I was very structured.

When I was checking out the TV guide I found a show that came on at 6am that seemed very exciting. It was some spacey show called Ultraman. Isn’t that the coolest name?

So I started setting my alarm clock to wake me up at 5:55am on Saturday. My mom didn’t care for that one bit, but I made a bargain. I would go to bed one hour earlier if she let me get up at 6am. So I went to be at 8pm Friday in order to watch Ultraman at 6am Saturday!

I missed so many episodes I really didn’t pick up the story line. I just remember this Japanese man turning into a giant robot and shooting laser beams when he crossed his arms. It was the best!

I miss Ultraman and all those Saturday morning cartoons. Now all you see are Save By The Bell clones and other live action shows. Where are the Justice Leagues or the Thundarr the Barbarians or the Captain Cavemen or Grape Apes? What will our children remember when they grow old? Reruns of “That’s So Raven” and “This Old House”?

Mizike

p.s.

Challenge time! Where did I get my title from?

Oh noes!

I hate being sick. And I'm behind the eight ball for this project. Will I be finished by tomorrow? Stay tuned! Same bat time! Same bat channel!

Mizike

Sailor Moon says....

I ran across a weird article on prenups and decided to give it a go. We both don’t want or need a prenup, but here is what I would include in one.


· Allowance of 2 open kitchen cabnets before being yelled at
· Allowance of 4 times a week for the toilet seat to not be placed in the down position
· Promise to not demand sex from me more than twice a week. Any other times will be bonuses. Her sexual drive exhausts me! (tongue in cheek)
· 2 Free “Get out of the doghouse” passes per month when “she cuts me off”
· Ability to leave at least 1 unnecessary light on in the house
· When I am a good boy, I get the chance to see boobies!
· Freedom to make my curry as hot as I want! Given I may be the only person eating it
· 30 minute buffer after each meal before we do anything, since I always feel sick for 30 minutes after a meal. Bleah….
· Freedom to sneak sips from her beverage, even if I say I don’t want any
· Freedom to flirt with Thandie Newton if I ever meet her and a promise to not laugh when her security detail drags me off and clubs me on top of the head
· A free veto anytime she is buying cheese to make sure she doesn't bring home anything that smells like feet
· Space on TiVo to record SciFi Friday and Lost
· 1 free pass to Skyprincess per month to drag me to any chick flick I would never go to alone

· Promise that at least once a year, Skyprincess will dress in a Japanese sailor school girl outfit with a red wig.

Born on the wrong side of the tracks

I’ve never understood a class-based society. Sure, I’ve studied different cultures in school. I’ve been a friend with people who come from class-based cultures. Specifically India. Where whom you were born to could determine where you fit in society. If you were born into the working caste, it would be taboo to become one of the ruling caste. How much of that is true today, I don’t know. Most of my older Indian friends are a generation or more removed from the motherland. And it’s never been a topic of conversations with the current batch of consultants I work with.

I’m not saying the United States doesn’t have it’s own form of a class system. In the USA, it’s mainly based on money. Those born very rich, and those who are not. It is possible to “move up” in society by gaining great wealth, something caste based systems find difficult. But still, “old money” society have distain for “new money”. Although I don’t think that’s as bad now as it was in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s. It all comes down to influence and power. Family names may influence politics, but mainly it’s now money. Money talks. Money has power. Money is the great equalizer amongst men.

With my new job and the upcoming wedding, I am trying to embrace a new class system I have never had to deal with before. Gaining status with an airline.

Who would think boarding a plane before other people would be important. I always thought it just meant you are stuck in an uncomfortable seat longer than necessary. And who wants stinky, sweaty, smelly man sitting next to you for an extra 20 minutes because you got to board early with him? Sure, you get to place your 2 extra heavy full bags in the overhead forcing those without status to check their bags. But I check my bags anyway, so no skin off my nose. Plus I place my laptop under the seat so I can pull it out during the flight and look at pr0n. (just kidding moms and dads)

Now gaining status has become very important. We are planning to travel to China for our honeymoon, and want to fly first class. The difference between coach and first class tickets is $12,000 a piece. That’s a new S40 Volvo! So gaining status for upgrade passes has become my mission. I will not be stuck in coach for 14 hours with a stinky, sweaty, smelly man!

Mizike

Christmas is a time of Regret

When I was a child, my mother was consumed by Christmas cards. She’d spend weeks updating her card list from the previous year. Adding names or removing names. Listing any additions to the family, whether new born children or marriages. Changing any addresses that may no longer be accurate. Marking down who sent cards the previous year, and determining whether they deserve a card this year.

Sometimes she’d send a very simple card with just a signature and the requisite “Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas!”. Special friends got a picture of our family. Those of executive platinum status received a note with a short summary of the prior year. The typical. “Bart got in trouble at school again. He’s such a bright young man, just doesn’t apply himself.” “Lisa has joined the marching band and has been selected as first chair saxophone! She’s doing very well at school, we are so proud!”

And she had quality tiers for the cards. From cheap box sets (50 to a box) to very nice individual Hallmark cards. They’d all get addressed and lumped into shoeboxes she’d then lug to the post office to mail. Always the first week of December. Then she’d check the mailbox continuously during the next couple of weeks, always prepared to send an emergency Christmas card to anyone she forgot, but who had sent her a card. There were always one or two people who’d get the emergency card. Usually someone new from my father’s job that he forgot to mention. Or a cousin that mysteriously popped up again after years of silence. These would go back onto her Christmas card list. It would take 5 years before she’d remove them, if they never sent a card again.

Out of high school, I tried to keep my own list going. I had a list of about 40 to 50 people I sent cards every year. Some were coworkers. Some were from Governor’s School. Some were high school chums and friends. And some were college classmates. My list began to get smaller and smaller each year, as I lost track of people. My life became very boring. I worked and went to school. What else do I tell people? I moved several times, so never saw my old friends. We have nothing really in common any longer, why do they want to hear that I work 2 jobs and attend classes sparsely?

Eventually I stopped sending cards. I still get a twitch each Christmas season to break out the quill and ink a few notes to old friends. Friends I never see, friends I have fond memories of but no clue where they are. I sometimes think I have Christmas and Thanksgiving confused. Christmas is where I reflect on the people in my life and how grateful I am they are here. It is a time to reflect on the course of the past year and wonder what I have accomplished. It is the time of the year I am happiest and saddest. It’s when I look at myself and ask, “is this all you have become?” And I realize I am consumed by regret.

Regret for not changing jobs. Regret for not finishing school. Regret for speaking harshly to a friend. Regret for not saving more for retirement. Regret for not taking my dream vacation. Regret for losing touch with a friend or ex-girlfriend. Regret is a strong motivator, and a very dangerous one.

A couple of weeks prior to Christmas, Mona gave me a ring on my mobile. I saw it was her and didn’t answer. Mona was the person I was seeing prior to Skyprincess. We had a very lopsided relationship. It was all give on my part, and nothing received. Very unhealthy, so I ended it. She was ‘dating’, which meant seeing different guys, and I’m a one-woman kind of guy. I see no attraction to dating multiple people, and should have seen it was doomed from the beginning.

When we broke up I made it clear it was over. Made the definitive “goodbye” statement, wishing that she’d one day find happiness, along with the reason I’m breaking up by saying “at this time I do not believe you have the capacity or willingness to love anyone.” And that was that.

I’ve come to realize Christmas isn’t just the time for sugarplums and candy canes. It’s when we lose our common sense and try to reach out to someone in our past to regain some sense of happiness. Christmas is a lonely time of the year, and it’s very easy for us to reach back into the past to someone who made us feel safe. Someone who made us feel wanted. Who made us feel alive.

I’ve had that urge many a Christmas. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve picked up the phone and wanted to call Molly, my first love. We haven’t seen or spoken to each other in almost 2 decades. But I still have fond memories of our time together. Of her voice. Of her cute bushy eyebrows. The last I heard, Molly was married straight out of high school and is now a nurse with 2 children. I’ve met her husband, and he’s a great guy.

The phone call wouldn’t be because I wanted to reconnect, but because I wanted to hear how her life is. How her children are doing. I’m sure her son is college age now. Was her second child a girl or boy? How is Eric doing? Still doing computer networking? Are they still in Florida?

And I realize that is probably what Mona is wondering. How am I doing? Can we just talk as friends? And then my second strongest motivator kicks in, guilt. I have no desire to retain contact with Mona. I was hurt by how I was treated during our relationship and really don’t want to be reminded. She’s still a great person, but not someone I have anything in common with any longer. And I have finally found the person I have been looking for my entire life, so why give a false impression to Mona? I’m not available, now or ever again.

But I feel guilt. She just wants to remain “friends”, although I don’t want to. Am I being just a mean bastard? I’ve now written 2 “goodbye” letters to her. The original and another one recently after her series of calls, instant messages, and email. Both very clearly saying “goodbye”. How do you tell someone to leave you be and not be ugly? Being intentionally hateful is not something I do easily.

Mizike

Back from Christmas

Hello, I’m back!

My postings have been a bit scarce this season, and I apologize. Since this was our first Christmas together, Skyprincess and I have been enjoying being together. Doing the typical Christmas stuff.

The day after I arrived, we drove to the closest Home Depot to search for Christmas trees. I would recommend the Home Depot every time for your Christmas tree purchase. They had a very large variety of trees, and the staff was very generous in their time. The young man who helped us answered all our questions. Which tree dropped the least amounts of needle? Which tree stayed greener longer? Which tree was the most popular and least popular.

After digging through the pile for the perfect tree, we found one which called out to us. It was the right height for Skyprincess’s apartment and fairly symmetrical. I never want a perfect Christmas tree. I always want one with a bit of a flaw. Maybe a bit lopsided and pudgy. Or maybe has a bare spot that reminds you of your Uncle Charles’s bald spot that you will lovingly bend limbs to perform a Christmas tree comb-over. A tree that reflects my life. One that contains flaws, but beautiful none-the-less.

We tied the tree to the top of Skyprincess’s car and took as many back roads as possible. If we took the freeway, we would have gotten home faster, but who wants to drive 65 m.p.h with a tree on top of their car? Not us!

I haven’t trimmed a tree in over a decade. My mom was always a big tree person, I wasn’t. Not that I wasn’t involved. I would crawl through the attic finding the boxes of decorations. Help with untangling the lights. Help with unwrapping the ornaments and placing hooks on them. But she wanted her tree just so. We knew to help, but “not” help. To stay busy and engaged, but let her really put the tree together. I’m sure she didn’t know how touchy she was, and she has mellowed LOTS. I don’t think she cares now how the tree looks. But in the early years, she did. So we helped, but didn’t.

Skyprincess and I enjoyed picking out the colors for our tree. Gold and Red. Next year I’m going to try to convince her to make an all Orange tree. Even if I have to start making ornaments now! * smirk *

We started by stringing the lights around the tree. I took the word “around” the tree too literally. I went around and around the tree with the strings of lights. We bought WAY too many lights. That’s okay! We’ll just get a larger tree next year! * grin *

After wrapping the tree with lights, it came time for the strings of red then gold beads. This time, I wrapped the exposed tree only, then looped the string up a row and continued. It made it much easier to take the tree down without trying to unwrap the entire tree.

When it came time for the ornaments I let Skyprincess place them on the tree. I tend to clump ornaments. One side would be nothing but large red ornaments and then the other side would be all small gold ornaments. Not very attractive. But we worked out a system. I unwrapped the ornaments and placed hangers on them. She then artfully placed them on the tree. It actually went rather fast. And the tree was beautiful! We really should have taken pictures.

I kept eyeing the presents all Christmas Eve night, wanting to see what goodies Santa brought. But I was a nice boy. I didn’t even shake the boxes! That’s so unlike me. Curiosity is a major weakness.

Christmas morning came before I knew it. We slept in fairly late, much later than my normal 6am wakeup. I am getting better at that, thank you very much! We unwrapped out presents and I got lots of goodies. She had a theme going with her presents. Since I fly a bunch, she got me a travel kit. Ear plugs to tune out the crying babies on the flight. A very very nice travel mask. You can’t see any hint of light when wearing it. I really think the company should sell them to the CIA for use in their sensory depravation interrogations. They make you feel like you have no sight at all.

The final part of the travel kit was a nice travel blankie and pillow. Her stories of what happens with airline blankets scare me. They NEVER get washed, and there is a reason they usually hand them out when the lights are dimmed. My suggestion, don’t pay attention too much to the stains if you really want to use one.

My favorite gift was the ipod nano. I spent most of the week going through her CD collection, finding music to load onto it. It’s really nice we have close to the same taste in music. I’m listening to Simon & Garfunkle’s “Scarborough Fair” right now. Great song.

For Skyprincess I bought an I-Doggie. It’s really just a portable speaker for her ipod, shaped like a dog. It’s very cute. I also got her a JLo watch. I hated that it’s JLo, but it’s really a lovely watch. Not the bling bling watches she has. But a sort of gold looking copper chain. It’s really rather lovely.

Her main present was a new coach bag. I felt so proud thinking of this one! I have a terrible time finding presents for people. I know she likes fine wine, which I’m clueless about. I don’t really drink and didn’t want to bomb out on this. And wine is a personal taste. So are shoes, so shoes were out. Or really any clothing item. But the coach bag was something I thought was very neat.

Well… guess I should go. I have to get back to work. I’ll try to start posting more. I should have some time this week to pound out a couple blogs and maybe a couple to take me over the weekend when I fly back home.

Thanks for being patient!

Mizike